i lied to you, from the bottom of my heart.
i told you that it didn’t matter, and that i could be emotionless about something that was full of emotion. i lied to you from the bottom of my heart.
i whispered that everything was going to be ok, when we know that life is never ok. i lied to you from the bottom of my heart.
i ran my hand through your hair and told you we could move past this, even though i knew you already were past this. i lied to you from the bottom of my heart.
i grabbed your hand, and smiled as i comforted you, and asked you to calm down, when my heart was racing and breaking. i lied to you from the bottom of my heart.
from then on, as you smiled, and we were fine, i smiled through the anguish that only my heart could know, because it had run out of lies for you.
i knew someday it would stop hurting. but i also knew that from then on, life would seem banal. my heart would hurt to return to the real life i had been lying about, telling it that it didn’t exist.
and, for what? only so that i could remind my heart that at least i never told you i loved you. then my heart lied to me, and my heart got the last laugh.